User:Nextoy/Farside Pub/Spooky Scary Skeletons

''We've all seen those cheesy "horror" movies where zombies somehow manage to kill everyone, or that fantasy film with the skeletons trying to kill people before being knocked around with a mace. Hell, just play any RPG and you'll know how flimsy they are.''

''I mean if such a thing was real, what could it possibly do? No ligaments’ holding it together is a pretty big disadvantage. I should know, being a medical student and all; but there are still some things in the world that can surprise us all.''

---

One night during spring break me and a few buddies decided to go visit this bar out in the middle of nowhere. I mean sure, a lot of Texas is the middle of nowhere compared to Austin, Dallas, or especially Houston, but this place was even more remote than the rest of it. Made it both easy and a pain in the ass to find.

When we stepped into the bar it seemed bland. I mean sure, it was just this little thing out in the middle of nowhere, but it was also reported to have some pretty weird stuff going on. Did it look like it? Not in the least.

"Welcome, what can ah get ya?" The barkeep asked, seeing us walking in.

"How about just some beer to start us off, eh?" My buddy Chris asked, sitting down at one of the bar stools. I shrugged and joined him. Being shy sucks.

Wasn't long before a couple mugs of beer was put in front of us. I didn't like the stuff, but even to me it wasn't that bad. Wasn't long before we ended up getting a couple burgers to go with it and watching sports on the TV hanging up above the bar counter.

"This place really just blows. I mean-" Chris started, but the barkeep wasn't too happy.

"Well if ya think that how about ah just take my burgers back then?" He asked, sarcasm pouring out from every possible place I can imagine. Though Chris never got the chance to reply, as someone walked in and interrupted him again.

"Hey now!" The man called out, throwing his arms around me and Chris. "If it's a party you two boys want, then why don't I get a few friends of mine out of the closet?" He asked with a rather thick Italian accent. Though to be honest he was dressed more like Dracula than anyone else, just without any of the creepy vampiric lifelessness.

"Now don't you go gettin' those things out!" The barkeep replied, glaring at him.

"What about it Dave? How much harm could happen?" Chris asked me, getting only a sigh in response.

With a laugh and a wave of his cape the strange Italian called out "Come out boys!" And when he did the doors to the back rooms open opened and skeletons started pouring out, about twenty or thirty of them.

Each of them looked ridiculous in how they were dressed up with ponchos, hats, jackets, suspenders, and all kinds of weird things. One in a sombrero approached me right away too, sitting next to me and leaning over the desk.

"Ey, homie! How's the wife 'n' kids? How about a shot there, padre?" It spoke, somehow. Its voice was with a very thick Mexican accent, but I was trying to figure out how a literal skeleton could move around, let along talk so fluently.

"I told you not to get them out Necro!" The barkeep yelled.

"Ey, senior, where's my shot, man?" The skeleton asked, throwing his arms out wide to try and catch his attention.

"Ah'm not wasting good whiskey on ya. Now back off!" The barkeep told him.

"Ey, ey! Homes! Where'd da love, man?" It asked, taking off one of its limbs and trying to reach around the counter. The barkeep didn't have any of that and immediately took of the skeleton's hand and threw it over to one of the pool tables. A few people were playing there, and it knocked one of the balls into a pocket.

"Nice shot there, mate!" One of them called out, knocking the hand away with his pool cue.

"What's all this for, man? Give that back!" The sombrero wearing skeleton called out, running over to the others.

"Isn't it glorious?" The Italian asked, looking around. "Nobody knows how to party quite like the dead, eh?" He asked, looking back at us on the last sound.

"Dude..." Was all Chris could mutter, looking around them as well. But me? I was freaking out. This couldn't be real, that’s that. But all I could hear in my head as they danced around and occupied the bar was an old song I remember hearing on 4chan in October.

''SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT''

"Hey man, seriously!" The skeleton yelled out, running around in time to catch the back of a pool cue to the skull and send it flying off.

''SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH YOU'LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRIEK''

The bar busted out laughing, with the skeletons taking their heads off and playing hacky sack with them.

WE'RE SO SORRY SKELETONS YOU'RE SO MISUNDERSTOOD YOU ONLY WANT TO SOCIALIZE BUT I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD

One of them came up to me, wrapping his skeleton arm around me and speaking with a thick French accent.

"Oi, Mon Ami, howz a good martini sound for you?" He asked, with me freaking out more and running off away from the bar.

''CAUSE SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SHOUT STARTLING SHRILLY SCREAMS THEY'LL SNEAK FROM THEIR SARCOPHAGUS AND JUST WON'T LEAVE YOU BE''

"Bit freaky, aint he?" Another one asked, pulling up next to me. I immediately dashed to another part of the room, with Chris laughing at me; with some of the skeletons joining in no less.

''SPIRITS SUPERNATURAL ARE SHY WHATS ALL THE FUSS BUT BAGS OF BONES SEEM SO UNSAFE IT'S SEMI-SERIOUS''

With the parts flying around everywhere and these... things approaching me, I didn't know what a safe place was anymore. All I could think was I had to get out, even if Chris found them to be so silly.

''SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS ARE SILLY ALL THE SAME THEY'LL SMILE AND SCRABBLE SLOWLY BY AND DRIVE YOU SO INSANE''

That was it. All I could do was run out of there, leave all the laughing and partying behind. Even if it seemed lighthearted to everyone else, I was flipping out.

''STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK YOUR BONES THEY SELDOM LET YOU SNOOZE SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS WILL WAKE YOU WITH A BOO!''

And then I woke up back in my dorm room, breathing hard and looking around. But it all seemed to be a dream, or so I had thought until I heard a faint, skeletal "Boo!"